Independence

It was tormenting to not blog about my feelings which I'd kept for so long. I haven't been here for quite some time 'cause my boyfriend had found out about this site.

So so so all entries will be locked from now on. Sorry baby boo :P

Till den.

It's so nice walking down Yishun interchange after so long. I got so much attention. Hehe.

Smiles plastered across all of our faces. But what can you actually see?

I don't know why I'm so fucking disappointed with Josh. It's like all my efforts are flushed down the drain at the very instant when he said I didn't care for him at all. I feel fucking hurt when each and everytime he say the same old sentence. You know that I can buy alot of new clothes and stuff for myself but I forsake all this shit to pay for his meals so that he wouldnt starve and his transport and all but he don't even appreciate it. If he does, he wouldn't even say that! Plus, he dont even buy things for me when he has the money!! :< He's not even thankful!

Sometimes, I still ponder on that day.

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Ohyah, Im not done yet dairy!
Did I told you I just found someone new? It's like I've met my soulmate but Im not very sure of it yet. We're new together, it's like fucking 3 months and we're quarrelling like every single day but it's always my fault, you see. So, as time past, I'll let you know about it.

I miss having to write poems and now I think I totally forgot how to. I miss having to pour every single things out to you 'cause I just read the past entries in this little livejournal and it was worth remembering. Actually, I think every part of my life is worth remembering.

Anyway, its been ages since I wrote here and I suddenly remembered abt lj where no one reads it so here it goes.

Firstly, I just got back my O level results which is one of the major education in Singapore. But fuck, I didnt get points which are any where near happiness. I din broke down this time 'cause as I grow older I just hate showing people how I feel. So yup, I am of cos disappointed with myself but I cause all these to happen so I've got no one to blame but myself. I cant confirm Im going to top the new sch 'cause I said that every single year. But I wanna do well and prove to every single living creature that I can do it. I dont want any single fucking soul to look down on me!

And my new resolutions are suppose to be able to change myself or mold into someone better but before posting this, I went to read my archives in lj and I found out that I said that to myself every single damn fucking year. So I am not gonna do that this year. Though I still wanna stop all these nonsense, I'll just keep that in mind and not do it so often.

You know all these bad habits have been stuck with me for fucking 16 years, give me time to change, would you?

I  A M  F U C K I N  A N G R Y  but i can't let it out because i cant let him know that i'm pissed. srsly, i wish he was dead by now. Fuckin dead.

Get your retribution soon.

why?